Neil Randall is delighted to announce that his new short
story A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DEATH has been accepted for publication by UK
literary magazine Dissonance. The story has a special place in Neil’s heart as
it was the first piece he wrote following a near-death experience which saw him
undergo three life-saving operations. In fact, it was when trying to capture
this brush with mortality that he stumbled upon what would become the
inspiration for the story itself: a social media post about Danny DeVito cutting
hair in a funeral parlour before he became famous.
Pint-sized comedy legend anecdotal gold aside, Neil felt this was an incredible setting for a story. Thus, A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DEATH was born – a story, as the title suggests, about life and, more specifically, death.
Fun Fact: When Neil told friends about this story, he repeatedly and mistakenly (and probably in a highly Freudian sense) told them that Danny DeVito used to cut hair in an abattoir rather than a funeral parlour. Which, on reflection, may well have made for an even better story, if it would pose some serious questions as to the how and why. But being a non-meat-eater, Neil would feel seriously compromised, morally, in writing a story about a cow, for example, getting a haircut prior to being murdered for its flesh.
Neil is sincerely grateful to Katrine and the team at Dissonance Magazine for publishing the story and giving it a good home. To whet your appetites, here’s the opening scene:
I got the job at Shepherdson’s completely by chance,
answering an ad in a local newspaper:
Vacancy for Funeral Parlour Assistant, Duties Varied, Good Rates of Pay. I
rang the telephone number provided and spoke to Mr Shepherdson Senior, the then
sprightly, seventy-eight-year-old undertaker himself. ‘Stop by this afternoon,’
he said, after listening to a rundown of my qualifications and experience. ‘You
sound like the ideal candidate’.
Later that day,
after the briefest of interviews, the kindly old man introduced me to the rest
of the team – the chauffeurs, casket bearers, manageress Valerie Morecambe, not
to mention his son and proposed successor Rupert. Warm and friendly, they made
me feel as if I really belonged there, as if the job was already mine.
“Welcome on-board, Clarence,” said Mr Shepherdson Senior, confirming as much, with a firm handshake. “To begin with, we’ll have you working under Mrs Morecambe. She attends to a whole host of duties, from answering the telephone to washing and dressing the corpses prior to the funeral services themselves. There’s a lot to take in, but if you keep your head down, son, you’ve got a job here for life.”
You can read the story in full on Dissonance magazine’s
official website:
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